


Just Like Old Times

by Idiotgangleader



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Humor, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 11:31:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9438293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idiotgangleader/pseuds/Idiotgangleader
Summary: Jacob and Evie are retired and currently living in a nursing home. And they decide to mess with one of the new nurses.





	

A group of nurses bustled together down the halls of the nursing home, bringing some life to the otherwise quiet facility. Fall style crafts of elementary school children lined the walls as well as some cheap decorations purchased from the party section of a local store. It was that time of year, thought Evie who had her attention briefly distracted from her book. Indeed it was that time of year. The time when summer was over and many of the younger nurses cut their hours to go back to college. As a result, the nursing home hired more part time help to compensate. Most of them were rookie nurses and aides who had just passed their certification. And they were starting their first day .A sinister smile crept it’s way to Evie’s wrinkled face. Oh how she loved this time of year. Putting her book down, she looked across the room to her brother Jacob, how was polishing the handle of another antique knife that he had smuggled in.

“Jacob, they’re showing the newbies around.” she said from her chair.

At this, Jacob looked up from his project and smiled at his sister.

“They’ve always shown their boobies, Evie. Not that I mind, but back in our day the nurses were probably the most modestly dressed in London. Sure glad that changed.” he smiled before turning back to his knife.

Evie rolled her eyes and threw her book at him.

“Newbies, not boobies you damn wanker! They are training the new staff, do you know what that means?” she asked him enthusiastically.

“More women frantically trying to take my clothes off?”

“No! You damn old codger! Fresh meat to be Fryed.” she smirked.

“What? We’re having fried chicken today? I thought it was spaghetti on Thursdays.” he said before bursting out laughing.

“Cut off it Jacob Frye, you haven’t gotten that senile yet.” she smiled at him. He knew exactly what the drill was.

“Then shall we?” he asked.

“Let’s.”

About half an hour later, the Head Nurse, Kristin walked into the Frye’s room with a younger woman trailing behind her. She was young, looking to be in her early twenties and had an anxious look on her face, as they almost always did. The older Frye wondered if the other staff had warned the young aide about them yet.

“These are the Fryes, you’re going to love them, they are quite a lively pair.”

Kristin smiled at the last bit, almost certainly knowing of the events that were going to go down today.

The young nurse held her hands behind her back nervously as she stepped up to introduce herself.

“I’m Amy, Mr. and Mrs. Frye.” she said with some mock enthusiasm.

“That’s Ms. Frye, young lady. I’m not hitched to this old lunatic!”

“Who are you calling old, you ancient bag of bones! You’re older than me!”

“And I aged like a fine red wine, you aged like milk!”

Amy took a step back towards Kristin, clearly shocked at the loud banter between the two patients.

“They’re brother and sister. Not husband and wife.” Kristin explained.

Amy nodded her head in understanding before warily looking back towards Jacob and Evie’s beds. Judging by the look on her face, it was quite obvious that she was not looking forward to caretaking the two.

“It’s just about time for lunch, why don’t you escort them, Amy. It’ll be a good chance to start getting to know them.” Kristin smiled as she placed a hand on Amy’s shoulder.

“Y-Yes, ma'am.”

Amy stood completely rigid as Kristin left the room. She nervously looked at Evie and Jacob as if unsure of what to do. After a moment of silence, Jacob sat up and squinted his eyes at the young woman.

“Love, are you planning on applying for a position in the Queen’s Royal Guard?” Jacob asked the aide curiously.

Amy looked at Jacob like he had three heads before quickly shaking her head no.

“Then why the bloody hell are you standing with your back so straight? Are you trying to get back pain like the rest of us?” he asked before flashing her a friendly smile.

“W-Well…I…uh”

“Jacob! Leave the poor girl alone! It’s only her first day.”

“Well, if she keeps up like that she’ll end up a patient instead of an aide by the end of the day.”

Amy looked back and forth at Jacob and Evie, as if skeptical of what she was seeing. It was clear she was not expecting to deal with a set of patients such as Jacob and Evie Frye.

“I-I’m fine. D-Do you two have walkers or wheelchairs in this room?” she asked quietly, barely above a whisper.

“Do we have to peel pairs with a broom? Darling, what the bloody hell are they teaching the girl’s in Nursing School these days?” Jacob asked as he threw his hands up in an exaggerated gesture.

After another ten minutes of Evie and Jacob bickering back and forth with each other, they finally left to go to lunch. But not without a constant argument during the whole trip about one or the other moving too fast or two slow with their walker. When they finally took their seats in the lunchroom, they sat next to a pair of elderly woman who were currently deep in conversation regarding the behavioral issues of their grandchildren.

“I’m telling you Margaret, I don’t know what he’s going to do with his life! Now he has a criminal record, he’ll never be able to go to college or get a job! All because he decided he wanted to spray paint some illicit material on some boy’s front porch!” the woman yelled to her friend as she waved her hands in the air.

“I say Beatrice, children these days, they have no idea.” her friend said as she tried to comfort the wailing old woman.

Looking over to the two women before taking a swig of his water, Jacob tapped the crying woman’s shoulder.

“Well darling, I think it’s absolutely disgraceful. How old did you say he was?” Jacob said with indignance.

“Oh, Jacob, it’s terrible it truly is. Children’s minds are twisted nowadays. And he’s twenty -three.” she said as she wiped her eyes.

“Twenty-three!?That’s absolutely pathetic! By the time I was twenty years old I was already running my own gang and running wild across London and leaving a trail of blood! Tell your grandson to step it up!”

Everyone in the room gasped and stared at the table in horror, Beatrice who had been previously wailing now looked as if she was about to vomit. Suddenly, she clutched her chest and began uttering sounds of pain and gasping.

“Oh dear lord!” he friend yelled as the woman fell back in her chair.

Immediately all the nurses surrounded Beatrice and pushed back everyone else that was sitting at the table. Jacob and Evie stood up and slowly walked back out of everyone’s way. Evie looked and saw that Amy was busy assisting the other nurses with the woman who had fallen ill. smiling, Evie nudged Jacob.

“Quickly, now’s our chance!” she hissed as they slowly made their way towards the doors.

Everyone was focused on Beatrice who was on the floor, they didn’t notice the two Fryes slipping out. And they didn’t notice the exchange of winks that Jacob and Beatrice shared as him and Evie walked out the door. Luckily, as it was lunch hour most of the staff was already inside the lunch room when the woman collapsed, so the hallways were completely clear.

“So, Jacob Frye, where would you like to go this time? The gardens? The pavilion outside?” Evie asked with a toothy smile.

Jacob let out a devious laugh as he pulled out a heavy set of keys.

“I was actually thinking of the roof.”

Evie stared at Jacob completely dumbfounded. When did that bastard…?

“Jacob…you did not steal Esteban’s keys.”

“I did. Now let’s get going before the medics get here.” he hissed as they walked towards the doorway to the staircase.

Despite their age, the two were surprisingly still very mobile. They had walkers, yes but almost never used them. The only reason they used them today was to mess with Amy. Stairs were still relatively easy for them. They couldn’t jump across building or scale walls like they could in their youth but for the most part, they were still very able for their age. Once they got to the top of the stairs, Jacob stuck the key in the lock and turned the handle. On the other side of the door was the gorgeous view of the rooftops of the nursing home.

The leaves on the trees were vibrant with fall colors and the air was so clear and fresh. They hadn’t been outside for so long as many of the nurses avoided the pair at all costs. But moments like this were completely worth it. Walking over to the edge of the building, Jacob let out a huge smile when he saw what was down below.

“Hey Evie, come take a look at this.” he called as he stared in excitement.

Evie walked over and soon saw the cause behind the excitement. On the ground below up against the wall, was a considerably large dumpster that was filled to the top with fallen leaves from the grounds.

“Once more for old time’s sake?” he asked while flashing her a smirk.

She smiled back at him before lightly punching him in the arm.

“You are absolutely insane, Jacob Frye.” she laughed.

Suddenly, the door of the staircase they came up from swung open and a panic stricken Amy appeared in the doorway, staring at the two in sheer horror. Her face was completely white and dotted with little balls of sweat and her hands were held out on front of her in a pleading gesture.

“Mr. Frye, Ms. Frye, please. You don’t want to do this.” she pleaded as she slowly walked closer.

Jacob just shrugged his shoulders as if she were talking about yesterday’s paper.

“No darling, I really do want to do this.” he said in a complete indifferent tone as he turned his back toward Amy and turn himself towards the ledge.

“Wait! No! Please, don’t you have children or grandchildren that would miss you? Are you really going to put them through agony?!” she yelled. She sounded as if she was practically crying.

In a flash, several more nurses appeared out of the stairwell behind Amy, one of whom was Kristin.

“On the contrary, this will provide a quite lovely story to tell the kids.” Evie said as she turned towards the ledge as well before looking at Jacob.

“Shall we?” she asked wit h a smile

Jacob looked at her with the most mischievous smirk that Evie had seen in months.

“Let’s.”

They heard multiple screams of ‘No!“ from the rooftops as they descended down before landing safely in the dumpster of leaves. Looking up, they saw the staff staring down at them in confusion, apprehension, and just plain wonder. This was by far, the most outrageous thing they had ever done since coming to the nursing home. But so far it was also the best. She hadn’t done a leap of faith in over fifteen years.

“I think I understand what the hype is all about with the kids. What do they call this, Evie? Dumpster diving?” Jacob asked as he lifted his head to look at Evie’s in the leaves.

“I believe so, but I don’t understand how this is supposed to save you money.”


End file.
